#9 A child to ...

Once , if a child was asked .

“Are you alright ?”

“I`m fine”, she looks down .

“But to me you don`t really look alright , do you want to tell me something ?”, the guy asked.

“No , I`m okay ? Why do you keep asking?”,

“Because sometimes you seemed really sad”

“When ?”, she looked at him with her innocent eyes .

“Everyday , not all the time , but sometimes”,

“I don`t know , but theres um.. nothin”, she looked away .

“Are you happy ?”,

“Yes I am !” , she smirked .

“I don`t know if its true , but , when you come home, you always drive yourself to do something alone”,

“Thats true ... I like to be alone”

“Isn`t there anyone you could spend time with ?”,

“My parents and my pets ?”,

“Your siblings ?”

“They don`t show up until holidays” , she looked outside , looking at nothing.

Suddenly she turned to him and said ,

“Well , I am happy if you want to ask that again . But sometimes I do get sad”,

“About what ?”

“Making my mum and dad proud . Until today , I couldn`t make it up to them , to my parents . I mean  , I couldn`t do something would make them proud yet . I`m wondering when I could do it . Sometimes , I wrote stuff that would give me opportunities that would me a way to make them worth growing me up”,

The guy went to silent .

“I know , parents are best critics yet the best supporters . I always remind myself about that”,

He asked , “Did they had ever made you mad ?”.

“Yeah they do , but it doesn`t matter . They can do anything to me , I don`t care . I`m willing to let anything happen to me but just don`t hurt them . I wish my parents would now that . They kept saying they would do anything to me and they don`t believe I would do the same thing”,

“That`s a brave thought”,

She looked at him,

“My parents don`t know , I cried alot about them . They don`t know I write letters to them but never reached in their hands because I was scared of what would they think about it”.

“What do you cry about ?”,

A tear was visible in her eyes out of nowhere

“ Sometimes , I think I`m not enough to them . I couldn`t spend a single day not doing something wrong . I would make them mad however”.

“I cried because , I knew she deserves and he deserves someone better than me , they are amazing couples ,I`m nothing that amazing”.

“Don`t think like that , you are a great person and you`ll make them proud”,

“I forced myself to believe the sentence just like you said , but , tell me what is so amazing about me? What type of child I am ? I made her not to have enough sleep cuz she stayed up all night looking after me”,

“Thats what parents do”

“I don`t like that , they took care of me all day and they should have enough sleep. I don`t care about myself not having enough sleep and why do they have to look after me?”

" But why don`t you want that about of care ?"

" I have no idea , but its just , I wish I could make them proud of me . And felt worth it staying up all night , changing my pampers , fed me , sending me to school and everything"

"Hey guest what , with this amount of determination , you would make them proud one day . Trust me" 

By - Nada Nasuha