#Half Alive

Hey Low people ,

Wow my blog is webbed . Haha , its been a while I haven`t write anything in my blog . Life after PMR was great and guest what , I`m about to face "LIFE AFTER PMR RESULT" . I`m scared I have to tell you that. I`m having nightmares about it , so so scared . Sometimes my heart race like crazy and I don`t know how to just describe it . But , I pray to ALLAH , "Ya Allah , just please please give me what I really want".

Getting straight A`s to me now , is really really important . I really want to make my parents proud of me , I really do . I`ve been trying to do my best so I could just make them feel worth sending me to school , spending their money on me , just please .

Deep down inside , my heart is waiting , IS IT going to RISE or DROWN ?
ALLAH , please , give me the best .

My journey is still long , as long as my years of living is still long , I`m sure its not going to be easy .
This one isn`t easy too .

I HOPE ,
Tomorrow ,
Will be the greatest day Ever .

#9 A child to ...

Once , if a child was asked .

“Are you alright ?”

“I`m fine”, she looks down .

“But to me you don`t really look alright , do you want to tell me something ?”, the guy asked.

“No , I`m okay ? Why do you keep asking?”,

“Because sometimes you seemed really sad”

“When ?”, she looked at him with her innocent eyes .

“Everyday , not all the time , but sometimes”,

“I don`t know , but theres um.. nothin”, she looked away .

“Are you happy ?”,

“Yes I am !” , she smirked .

“I don`t know if its true , but , when you come home, you always drive yourself to do something alone”,

“Thats true ... I like to be alone”

“Isn`t there anyone you could spend time with ?”,

“My parents and my pets ?”,

“Your siblings ?”

“They don`t show up until holidays” , she looked outside , looking at nothing.

Suddenly she turned to him and said ,

“Well , I am happy if you want to ask that again . But sometimes I do get sad”,

“About what ?”

“Making my mum and dad proud . Until today , I couldn`t make it up to them , to my parents . I mean  , I couldn`t do something would make them proud yet . I`m wondering when I could do it . Sometimes , I wrote stuff that would give me opportunities that would me a way to make them worth growing me up”,

The guy went to silent .

“I know , parents are best critics yet the best supporters . I always remind myself about that”,

He asked , “Did they had ever made you mad ?”.

“Yeah they do , but it doesn`t matter . They can do anything to me , I don`t care . I`m willing to let anything happen to me but just don`t hurt them . I wish my parents would now that . They kept saying they would do anything to me and they don`t believe I would do the same thing”,

“That`s a brave thought”,

She looked at him,

“My parents don`t know , I cried alot about them . They don`t know I write letters to them but never reached in their hands because I was scared of what would they think about it”.

“What do you cry about ?”,

A tear was visible in her eyes out of nowhere

“ Sometimes , I think I`m not enough to them . I couldn`t spend a single day not doing something wrong . I would make them mad however”.

“I cried because , I knew she deserves and he deserves someone better than me , they are amazing couples ,I`m nothing that amazing”.

“Don`t think like that , you are a great person and you`ll make them proud”,

“I forced myself to believe the sentence just like you said , but , tell me what is so amazing about me? What type of child I am ? I made her not to have enough sleep cuz she stayed up all night looking after me”,

“Thats what parents do”

“I don`t like that , they took care of me all day and they should have enough sleep. I don`t care about myself not having enough sleep and why do they have to look after me?”

" But why don`t you want that about of care ?"

" I have no idea , but its just , I wish I could make them proud of me . And felt worth it staying up all night , changing my pampers , fed me , sending me to school and everything"

"Hey guest what , with this amount of determination , you would make them proud one day . Trust me" 

By - Nada Nasuha

#7 Hello Again .

Hey to every single one of you . 

Its quite a while I haven`t just sit and write something in my blog . Well , its pretty hard to ask yourself for some ideas to come out . Its not easy as it seems . Well , how was your day guys ? I hope it went  great . I hope so . Me ? I`m having the most piece and happy time I have ever had in my life . PMR just ended and finally I could let my hair free from my long lasting relationship with BOOKS . Its only been a week I`m off from the nerd  side of me , people seems to be miss that . I`m a bit loud now , and carefree. I don`t have to worry about exams for a while , maybe in the next 6 weeks . Haaa...  

Plans ? After this ? Probably start giving attention to my cat`s  health . It seems stupid but thats what I`m going to work on . She`s a bit overweight now , she needs to loose a couple of grams so she would just get back on the appropriate weight on the scale . 

However , this once and a lifetime moment , I don`t want to waste it being such a lazy bunny . You know what , I have been spending pretty much of my time cooking , reading and just clean . Yeah , that is a really boring thing to do . But it works with me . Hehe .. 

By the end of this year school holiday , maybe dad is going to bring me to a vacation with mum . Yeay ! Haha . Guys , talking about vacations , do you know what place I really wish I could go one day ? I`m kinda really into with nature , animals and biology , I really want to go somewhere like an open field or conifer forest somewhere in the New Zealand . Umm.. I do have the adventurous side of me . Forget the malls , cinemas and spa , that doesn`t really impress me much . 

My brother said , he would bring me to Petting Zoo one day . I was jumping and screaming like a little girl . I really do love animals . I have a cat and two hamsters and I used to have more . But sadly , I don`t have much time to take care of them .  Now , If I have a chance and allowed to work with animals for instance in Aquaria , The National Zoo , Petting Zoo beside to Lost World of Tambun or Taiping Zoo , I would LOVE TO !

I could spend hours in the Pet shop . Not shopping cat food , looking at the animals . But , I hate looking at fish eyes . I know why , they look like they have zero feelings . Ugh ! I used to have pet fishes , I hate when they die , their heartless eyes keep starring me asking their body to be buried . That is just disgusting despite their smelly smell . 

I`m going to stop here , I`ll write when I have the chance . Bye ! Have a great day ! Xx.

#6 Our lads

My boys just launched their first fragrance world wide . It sounds a bit selfish calling them "my boys" towards them , but you have to know Directioners (fan of One Direction) call our boys , "Our Boys". Haha , but what ever . I like this video so much , maybe you should check it out . 

#5 Lace

To be exact , this is my baju raya for this year . It is a lovely dress , and it fits for a bride ! 

#4 the Libra

the ship was named over "Super Star Libra" . A medium sized ship I would say . To me , it was a great experience . The 5 star class restaurant , the fragrance shop , the cinema and everything . Thanks to dad , he brought me , mum and my brother along . 

#3 Piano by March

For the whole week , me and my friends were stuck in the music room . I never experienced a better and other day that I enjoy more than that week . Even I didn`t know how to play that instrument , but my friend does . She thought me a song :) .